*PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA — “Let Us Pick Your Nose!”
*FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA — “Drive Carefully. We’ll Wait.”
*AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS — “The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment.”
*GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK — “Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix.”
*TIRE SHOP IN UTAH –”Invite Us To Your Next Blowout.”
*ON AN ELECTRICIAN’S TRUCK IN MONTANA — “Let Us Remove Your Shorts.”
*SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN –”You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid.”
*ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA — “You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Geeks.”
*B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS –”Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years.”
*CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA — “Extra long is our specialty.”
*PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE IN MAINE — “Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps.”
*SEX THERAPIST’S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA — “Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date.”
*SEX CHANGE SURGEON’S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS– “Eat, Drink and Be Mary.”
*COUPLE’S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY –”Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone.”
*LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA — “Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy.”
*SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN — “Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard.”
*TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA — “We Skid You Not.”
*PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS — “The Breast Is Yet To Come.”
*ELEVATOR OPERATORS’ UNION IN CHICAGO — “We Do It Going Up And Down.”
*FINANCIAL ANALYST’S OFFICE IN FLORIDA — “Bankers Do It With Interest.”
*LAWYER’S OFFICE IN OREGON — “We Do It In Our Briefs!”
*STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. — “Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying ‘Nice Doggie’ Until You Find A Rock.”
*U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. –”Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt.”
*MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA — “We make mountains out of molehills.”
*HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN — “For toasty nuts, try us.”
*TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO –”Many Happy Returns.”
*VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT — “We Suck!”
*LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA — “Let Us Kiss Your Grass.”
