Condom joke and facts

Posted by raredog in joke jok jok, ... | 07.30.2006 - 8:19 pm




A condom story.. 

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A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom. I’m going to my girlfriend’s house for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!”

The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says, “Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too.”

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, “Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, “Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us.”

A minute later the boy is still praying; “Thank you Lord for your kindness.”

Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others.

She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, “I didn’t know you were so religious.”

The boy replies, “I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!” 

Condom Joke

Subject: Mas magaling ang Pinoy….

A Filipino is having breakfast in a hotel in France one morning. He was
eating bread and jam when an American while chewing his gum, sits down
next to him. The Pinoy ignores the Kano who, nevertheless, starts a conversation:
Kano: “You Filipinos eat the whole bread??”
Pinoy: (nayayabangan sa Kano): “Of course.”

Kano: (after blowing a huge bubble): “We don’t. In America, we only eat
what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
transform them into croissants and sell them to the Philippines.
” The American has a smirk on his face. The Pinoy listens in silence. Still
the American persists.

Kano: “Do you eat jelly with the bread??”

Pinoy: “Of course.”

Kano: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). “We don’t. In
America, we eat fresh fruits for breakfast, then we put all the peels,
seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam and sell the jam to the Philippines.”

The Pinoy (asar na talaga) asks: “Do you have sex in America?”

Kano: “Why of course we do!”.

Pinoy (now smirking): “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”

Kano (a bit puzzled): “We throw them away, of course.”

Pinoy: “We don’t. In my beloved Philippines, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them into chewing gum and sell them to America…

And now for condom fucks este facts pala 😀

1.Get ready. Make sure your condoms are fresh — check the expiration date. Throw away condoms that have expired, been very hot, carried around in your wallet, or washed in the washer. If you think the condom might not be good, get a new one. You and your partner are worth it.

2.That dick has to be hard before you put a condom on it.

3.Open it. Tear open the package carefully, so you don’t rip the condom. Careful if you use your teeth.

4.If the penis is uncut (uncircumcised), pull the foreskin back first.

5.Make sure the condom is right side out. It’s like a sock: there’s a right side and wrong side. First unroll it about half an inch to see in which direction it is unrolling. Then put it on. It should unroll easily down your dick. If you start off wrong, try again with a new condom. You’ll see when you practice.

6.Hold the top half-inch of the condom between your fingers when you roll it down. This keeps out air bubbles, which can cause the condom to break. It also leaves a space at the end for the cum.

7.Roll the condom down as far as it will go. It should reach the base of the penis near the balls

8.For anal intercourse, use lots of lube. Water-based lube is great for vaginal intercourse, too. Put the lube on after you put on the condom, not before — the condom could slip off. Add more lube often. Dry condoms break more easily.

9.Guys — when you pull out hold the condom near your balls so it doesn’t slip off. Try to pull out while you’re still hard. Take the condom off only after you are completely out of your partner.

10.Throw out the used condom right away. Use a condom only once. Never use the same condom for vaginal and anal intercourse. Never use a condom that has been in, or used by someone else. Never cum more than once in the same condom.

Guys, practice putting on a condom in a comfortable place where you have plenty of time by yourself. You know what we mean! Practice makes perfect, and you’ll impress your partner. Girls, practice putting a condom on a banana.
Source: http://www.positive.org/JustSayYes/safesex.html

 


3 responses on "Condom joke and facts" »

kookimebux
Posted on February 2, 2009

Hello. And Bye. 🙂

very intresting

Gary
Posted on July 19, 2009

Gary…

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