The secret of Cagbalete Island Revealed

Have you’ve been to Cagbalete Island? You probably witnessed how a pristine beach amazingly turns into a desert and vice-versa in just a few hours.

 

Well the secret of how this magnitude phenomenon happened was accidentally discovered by my friend while strolling along Cagbalete desert. While drinkin Empelayt, he was also busy looking for some starfish to bring home as ornaments to his house. When he suddenly stepped on what it looks like a giant kitchen hole, which he thinks the one responsible for the draining of the beach. He immediately called me to took photos of his rare find and blatantly show it to the whole world!

 

Of course this was all a HOAX! Happy April’s Fool! 😆

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn’t Be a Filipino-American US President

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn’t Be a Filipino-American US President

 

By David Letterman

 

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

 

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

 

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

 

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House – where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

 

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork.

 

5. Secret Service staff won’t respond to “psst… psst” or “hoy.hoyhoy!”

 

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Niño on the dashboard.

 

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

 

2. State dinners do not allow “Take Home”.

 

AND THE NUMBER I REASON WHY THERE COULDN’T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS…

 

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes! 😆 😀 🙂

 

Source: Facebook

Joketime 121

A guy went to the doctor because he was concerned about his sexuality.

 

Patient: “Doctor, I’m worried, I think I may be gay.”

 

Doctor: “Well, take off your pants and we’ll run a couple of tests.”

 

The man does so and the doctor grabs his penis.

 

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

 

Patient: “55.”

 

The doctor then grabs his balls.

 

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

 

Patient: “55.”

 

Doctor: Now, turn around and bend over.

 

The patient does so, and the doctor sticks his finger up his ass.

 

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

 

Patient: “1…..2……3…..” (hehehe)

 

——————————————————————–

 

Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang

takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!

 

Juan: Maniwala ako?!

 

Pedro: Totoo!

 

Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?

 

Pedro: Asin!

 

wapakkkk!!!

 

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MRS: Lasing ka na naman?!

MR: Sorry, hon. Inimbita ako ng mga officemates ko. Konting inuman.

MRS: Tange! Anong officemate? Tricycle driver ka, ogag! kaboom!!!

 

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Heinekken.

 

The bartender says, “What’s wrong with Heinekken, don’t you like it?

 

The man says, “I hate that shit”. Last night I drank a whole case of Heinekken and blew chunks.

 

The bartender says, “You drink a case of any beer you’re going to blow chunks”.

 

You don’t understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.

 

——————————————————————–

 

PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?

 

JUAN: Pata!

 

PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?

 

JUAN; PATAgalan ng kwento! hihihi:-)

 

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Balak mag-123 sa restaurant si Juan.

 

Manager: Hoy! San ka pupunta? Di

kapa bayad ah.

Juan: wala po akong pera.

Manager: Waiter bigyan mo ito ng

isa pang buong fried chicken.

hahaha… pag inuna mo ang leeg,

sasakalin kita. pag hita, lulumpuhin

kita. pag pakpak, pingkaw ka. pag

pitso, durog ang dibdib mo. lahat

ng gawin mo sa manok gagawin ko

sau.

 

nag isip si juan at bigla nya sinipsip ang puwet ng manok…..

 

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KABIT: kelan mo hihiwalayan ang asawa mo?

 

MISTER: ngayon na. paguwi ko

 

KABIT: talaga?

 

MISTER: oo. sure na sure na. wala nang makakapag-pigil sakin. ikaw kasi ang mahal ko at sawa nako sa kanya. sasabihin ko ayoko na

 

nagmamadaling umuwi si mister sa bahay

 

MISTER: kelangan natin mag-usap, may sasabihin ako sayo

 

MISIS: ako rin may sasabihin

 

MISTER: importante yung sakin

 

MISIS: yung akin din

 

MISTER: hindi mo naiintindihan… ayoko…

 

MISIS: nanalo ako sa lotto 70million! ano yung sasabihin mo?? sabi mo ayoko

 

MISTER: aa… ayokong… mawalay sayo. i love you (wehhh di nga??? hehe)

 

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Teacher: What do you want to become?

 

Johnny: Doctor !!

 

Teacher: Why?

 

Johnny: Coz its the only one profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it. (korek ka jan hehe)

 

——————————————————————–

 

Ni-rape si Inday

Maid: Ma’m, ni-rape ako ng magnanakaw kagabi…

Madam: Bakit di ka sumigaw?

Maid: Eh, akala ko po kase si Sir, pero nung dumalawang round, nagduda na po ako!

acheche!!

 

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Nanay sinisermunan ang anak

Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?

Anak: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, ‘tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko.’nyekkk!!