websaytko.com – raredog’s chronicle

Adam Sandler movies keeps getting better and better! He never fails to entertained his audience with his wacky antics! I think he’s one of the best or maybe the best comedian in Hollywood.

As of this writing I know a lot of you have already watched his latest flick “You don’t mess with the Zohan”. Which was opened last June 6 in the U.S. and I think about two weeks ago here in Manila. As you know, movie franchise to every country differ in terms of scheduling.

I have so much fun watching it! It made me laughed the most with his vigorous waist movement, that inspires me to make a home based business spoof out of it. lol

adam sandler hollywood vlog youtube zohan

*PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA — “Let Us Pick Your Nose!”

*FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA — “Drive Carefully. We’ll Wait.”

*AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS — “The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment.”

*GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK — “Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix.”

*TIRE SHOP IN UTAH –”Invite Us To Your Next Blowout.”

*ON AN ELECTRICIAN’S TRUCK IN MONTANA — “Let Us Remove Your Shorts.”

*SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN –”You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid.”

*ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA — “You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Geeks.”

*B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS –”Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years.”

*CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA — “Extra long is our specialty.”

*PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE IN MAINE — “Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps.”

*SEX THERAPIST’S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA — “Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date.”

*SEX CHANGE SURGEON’S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS– “Eat, Drink and Be Mary.”

*COUPLE’S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY –”Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone.”

*LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA — “Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy.”

*SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN — “Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard.”

*TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA — “We Skid You Not.”

*PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS — “The Breast Is Yet To Come.”

*ELEVATOR OPERATORS’ UNION IN CHICAGO — “We Do It Going Up And Down.”

*FINANCIAL ANALYST’S OFFICE IN FLORIDA — “Bankers Do It With Interest.”

*LAWYER’S OFFICE IN OREGON — “We Do It In Our Briefs!”

*STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. — “Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying ‘Nice Doggie’ Until You Find A Rock.”

*U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. –”Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt.”

*MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA — “We make mountains out of molehills.”

*HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN — “For toasty nuts, try us.”

*TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO –”Many Happy Returns.”

*VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT — “We Suck!”

*LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA — “Let Us Kiss Your Grass.”

  Misis : Darling, ano ang tawag sa isang asawa na sexy,
          maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap
          magluto?

  Mister: Guni-guni!

        ***

  TANONG: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya
                nang hindi siya mababastos?

  SAGOT: ‘Uhm, excuse me, miss…Mang Tomas ba ang lotion
                mo?’  < oink! >

        ***

   Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan,
   milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung
   ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?! Ngeks!

        ***

   Nanay: Ano ‘tong malaking zero sa test paper mo?

   Anak : Hindi po ‘yan zero, ‘Nay. Naubusan lang ng star
          ang teacher ko kaya binigyan niya ako ng moon! Moon lang ‘yan,
          ‘Nay,promise!

        ***

        Mga sikat na salawikain:

        Better late than pregnant.
        Kapag may tiyaga, good luck!
        Aanhin pa ang damo…kabayo ba ako?
        Do unto others, then, run! Run! Run!
        Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay
        lumaki sa ibang bansa.
        Ang lalaking nagigipit, sa bakla kumakapit.

        ***

        Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?

        Juan: Di ko po kilala.
        Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
        Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala…
        Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
        Pedro: Ma’m, baka po sa kabilang section sya!

        ***

        Paano humamon ng AWAY ang …
        BULAG?
        Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!

        DULING?
        Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!

        PILAY?
        Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!

        ***

        Pedro: Pare balita ko bading ka daw. totoo ba?!
        Ambo: Pare, Mga chismax lang ‘yun galing sa mga chuvanes
              na walang magawa sa mga chenilyn nila….  chura nila! hmpf!

        ***

        Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin
        Girl: Bakit?!
        Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
        Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
        Boy: Yun nga eh…gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!

        ***

        BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital):
               Hello… may tao po ba sa Room 168?

        Telephone Operator: Wala po, bakit?
        Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!

        ***

        Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST partners :

        Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
        Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
        Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
        Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
        Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!

        ***

        American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino:
        American: Use my name 4 times in a sentence!
        Pedro: Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul.

        ***

        Quote for the Day…

        Ang Buhay ay parang bato… it is HARD !!

        ***

        Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain,
        an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short – a gentle death! Ang
        lalim! Grabe…! Dati Love is blind lang, eh!

        ***

        Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
        Misis:  Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa
                buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko… ano problema natin?
        Mister: Nabuntis ko si Inday!
        Misis:  Ngeee       

        ***

        Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo…dito lang ako… dito
        lang talaga ako…tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang pupunta dito! Baka
        madamay ako..   

        ***

        Prospective Employer to Applicant:
        ‘So why did you leave your previous job?’

        Applicant: ‘The company relocated and they did not tell
                    me where!’

        ***

        Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko…
        Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
        Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
        Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
        Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
        Pedro: Ano binigay mo?

        Juan: Ha, eh di, …..  Baraha.

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