websaytko.com – raredog’s chronicle

Fellow riders of Rizal (or any part of the Philippines)  – Would you like to help calamity victims? We could help them by becoming members of the Red Cross and share in the reponsibility of addressing the plight of the most vulnerable in society. It only requires us to contribute P35, in which the amount will help the Red Cross in it’s various services and entitles the member to insurance coverage. The amount we give will go a long way  in helping Red Cross in it’s services which include social services, disaster management services, safety service, community health and nursing services, national blood program, Red Cross Youth.

Insurance Coverage: For 1 Year
Accidental Death, Disablement and/or Dismemberment  - P12,000.00
Unprovoked Murder and/or Assault - 12,000.00
Accidental Medical Reimbursement – 5,000.00
Burial Benefit as a result of accident - 5,000.00
Hospital Daily Cash Benefit (max.of 60 days) due to accident or natural illness -  150.00/day
The Philippine National Red Cross
Rizal Chapter
Fund Raising Department
Shaw Blvd. Brgy Kapitolyo, Pasig City
Telefax: 635-2825 / 631-3592
Tel. No. 631-3993
website: www.redcross.org.ph

To Rizal riders who would like to be a member I can drop by sometime at The Gate and you can register thru me, thanks. Ride Safe

Mag-ina!
NANAY: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
ANAK: Mas bobo si tatay nay,kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, “tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko.”
pare at bobo!
Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bobo: mali
Pare: amiable?
Bobo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
Priest and Bakla!
Priest: ang mga bakla’y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit.
Mga bakla: carry lang po father…dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag iislide-slide!!!
Holdaper!
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap…
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang…
 

Farmer & his son!
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na…ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty diba?!
 

Driver!
Passenger taps taxi driver’s shoulder…
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver…
Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria!
 

Delayed ng Isang Buwan!
Pag dating ni Munir sa bahay, sabi ni Ei, ang asawa nya, “Sweetheart, delayed ako ng isang buwan. Kagagaling ko lang sa doktor. Pero huwag mong sabihin kahit kanino, kung hindi mapapahiya lang ako kapag di nagkatotoo.”
Kinaumagahan, merong dumating na taga-Meralco. Pagbukas ng pinto, sabi niya, “Ale, delayed ho kayo ng isang buwan.”
“Kanino mo nalaman ito?” tanong ni Ei.
“Nandito ho nakasulat sa records namin,” sagot ng taga-Meralco.
“Talaga? Nakasulat sa records ninyo?”
Sa sumunod na araw, si Munir ay dumating galit na galit sa counter ng Meralco.
“Paano niyo nalaman na delayed ng isang buwan ang misis ko?
“Konting pasensya lang. Kung gusto niyong mawala sa records namin ito, magbayad na lang kayo,” sagot ng isang empleyado.
“Eh, kung ayaw kong magbayad?” tanong ni Munir.
“Puputulan ho kayo,” sagot ng empleyado.
“Kung puputulan ako, anong gagamitin ng misis ko?”
“Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila, di ba?”
 

Ibang Posisyon!!!
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: Thats a good idea dear!… doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman
ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.
 

After The Wedding!
Husband: Sinungaling ka, sabi mo virgin ka! Bakit kagabi maluwag na!
Wife: U*&L ka! Dahil lasing ka, katabi mo kagabi si mama!
 

Pinoy Ingenuity?
A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a
man’s sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a
magnifiying glass.
 

Rape Suspek
ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreype sa ‘yo?
INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal…
SUSPEK: Sige!…mang-asar ka pa!!!!
 

Wala yan sa lolo ko!
Juan:alam nyo ba yung lolo ko nung panahon ng hapon dun lang sya nagtatago sa maliit na pader at hindi sya tinatamaan ng bala.
Jose:wala pala yan sa lolo ko eh, yung lolo ko sa flywood lang nagtatago at hindi sya tinatamaan.
Juan: talaga?
Pedro:wala palang binatbat ung mga lolo nyo sa lolo ko, yung lolo ko nakatayo lang sa gitna.
Juan,Jose:talaga? bakit di sya tinatamaan
Pedro: eh bakit sya babarilin eh hapon ung lolo ko.
 

Gen. Tinio St.
Bakit natatakot bumaba sa jeep ang mga babaeng pasahero sa kanto ng Gen. Tinio St., Caloocan City??
Kasi ang sigaw ng mga driver ” O YONG MGA BABABA, KANTO TINIO NA!!!
 

One Way Ticket to HEAVEN!
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one: “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?” The first man replies: “I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.
As I entered my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong. So, I went out to the balcony and there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! I got really mad, so I started kicking him, but he wouldn’t fall off. So I got a hammer and hammered on his fingers. He let go and fell—but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.” “Sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter again asks for his story. “It’s been a very strange day. See, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and I do my exercises out on my balcony. This morning I slipped andI fell over the edge.
But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony and started kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. I let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Then suddenly, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. “Picture this,” says the third man, “I was hiding naked inside a refrigerator…”
 

  

Source: From Elgatonegro of MCP

The Philippine flag, symbol of valor, purity and peace, has earned its own place under the sun, because it has been upheld by the Filipino people since the Philippine Revolution of 1898. Stout-hearted brown men carried it fighting side by side with the Americans in the battlefields of Bataan and Corregidor, in the underground movement during the occupation, and for the Liberation of the Philippines.
The tasks ahead for an independent Philippines are tremendous and will require the wisdom, unity, courage, faith and self-respect of free men. With God’s help, we Filipinos will not falter or fail. As President Manuel A. Roxas said… “let us build in this our land a monument to freedom and justice, a beacon to all mankind.”

Source: Filipino Heritage: The Making of a Nation – Vol. 10
BAYAN KO
‘Bayan Ko’ was composed in 1928 when Filipinos were campaigning for independence from America under the leadership of President Manuel Quezon. The lyrics are based on a poem by Jose Corazon de Jesus. Enmeshed in the song are the yearnings of a people colonized for over 400 years, first as a colony of Spain and then as a colony of the United States.

De Guzman likened that Motherland to a bird set free, the land returned to the rightful people, the true heirs of the islands. “Foreigners are intoxicated with your beauty, my country, my nest of tears of poverty. My steadfast wish is to set you free.”

This song has accompanied almost every struggle since the turn of the century to recapture the visions and ideals of the First Republic — from the anti-American protest movement and millenarian revolts of the 1920′s and 30′s, to the resistance against the Japanese occupation in the 40′s, the student revolt of the 70′s and more recently, the 1986 EDSA “People Power” revolt that toppled the Marcos dictatorship.

Source: Philippine Graphic Centennial Yearbook.

BAYAN KO
Music by Constancio de Guzman
Lyrics by Jose Corazon de Jesus

Ang bayan kong hirang,
Pilipinas ang pangalan
Perlas ng silangan,
Sa taglay niyang kariktan
Ngunit sawimpalad,
Sa minimithing paglaya
Laging lulumuha
Sa pagdaralita.

Ang bayan kong Pilipinas
Lupain ng ginto’t bulaklak
Pagibig ang sa kanyang palad
Nag-alay ng ganda at dilag.

At sa kanyang yumi at ganda
Dayuhan ay nahalina
Bayan ko binihag ka
Nasadlak sa dusa.

Ibong mang may layang lumipad
Kulungin mo at umiiyak
Bayan pa kayang sakdal dilag
Ang di magnasang maka-alpas
Pilipinas kong minumutya
Pugad ng luha ko at dalita
Aking adhika
Makita kang sakdal laya!

Translation:
My Dear Country
By the Philippine Study Group of Minnesota

My dear country,
Given the name of the Philippines,
Pearl of the Orient sparkling in its beauty,
Yet unfortunate in its yearning for freedom,
Always swelling with tears of suffering.

My country, the Philippines:
Land of gold, garden of flowers
Endowed with love,
Gifted with beauty and radiance,

Intoxicated because of her beauty,
Foreign lands were drawn to her.
My dear country,
They came and conquered you
And you suffered in misery.

A bird that is free to fly
Put it in a cage and it cries.
What other country, so full of radiance
Would not want to be free?
Philippines, my beloved,
Nest of tears and suffering,
My wish for you
Is to set you totally free!

The song “Bayan Ko” was also popularized by the version of Freddie Aguilar, which is widely used in big rallies or events.

Source: http://www.geocities.com/philippinemusic/bayanko.html

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