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NUGA BEST – FOR HEALING AND RELAXATION

Posted by raredog in A.U.T.S., ... | 08.27.2006 - 11:30 am

Nuga Best is really a great medical breakthrough! Tried it a couple of times already and I can say that it really works for me. The very first time I’ve used it, it removes the pains on my aching back, heels, and solved my constipation problem.

It practically is an all-cure device that removes cholesterol, normalizes blood pressure, relieves pain, weight loss, increases detoxification, remotes relaxation, boost immune system, increases energy and endurance. Reduces stress and fatigue, improves joint stiffness, removes cellulites and cleanses skin, reduces swelling and inflammation, helps treat heart problem, blocked arteries, constipation, diabetes, cataract, glaucoma, UTI and prostate, arthritis, paralysis and hosts of other diseases.

It uses the gemstone JADE for healing and to generate far infrared rays (FIR) the natural way which is known to activate, revitalize, develop, and strengthen various organs in the body and at the same time boosts the body’s defenses against toxins.

The JADE massage caps will target the right areas on your back and loosen all the tight muscles. At the same time, the soothing warmth of the JADE massage will make you feel relaxed and comfortable. Using NUGA Bed everyday, you will feel healthier, fresher and more alive than ever before!

Best of all it’s free, just go to their branch in Marikina City, along Gil Fernando Avenue (besides Shell Gas Station), they have nice and friendly receptionist to assist you. All you have to bring is one blanket, a pair of socks, and a handkerchief. Always remember HEALTH IS WEALTH.

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DEAD MOTHERBOARD

Posted by raredog in A.U.T.S., Techie Stu... | 08.22.2006 - 9:04 pm

Dispose a motherboard?
Nahhh! WASH THE MOTHERBOARD!!! Yeah you read it right! Wash it with soap and water!

This is what a cool dude does to his dead motherboard after having lots of hopeless opinions from some technicians that his motherboard is already broken, dead and beyond repair.

He got himself a JOY dishwashing soap, a toothbrush, and together with his motherboard he goes to their sink and starts to bathe and scrub the broken, dead motherboard with soap and water.

After that he hangs it for two days to dry, and then he also blow-dries it to ensure that all parts of the clean motherboard are dry. Put it back to his computer casing, attached all the cables back, power it on and VOILA!!! THE MOTHERBOARD WORKS!!!

note: it only works on dirty mobos, water-cleaning is technically contact cleaning… mobos with defective chipsets, bloated caps, scratched surfaces and major physical defects cannot be remedied by this procedure…

Source: tipidpc.com

Tags: dead motherboard – fix – remedy

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Elgato’s Jokes 3

Posted by raredog in A.U.T.S., Techie Stu... | 08.06.2006 - 8:07 am

IDD CALL FROM US:

——————————————————————————–

HUSBAND: hon musta ang tindahan?

WIFE: dept store na!

H: ang tuba-an?

W: KTV bar na!

H: and mga pedicab?

W: taxi na!

H: ang dalawa kong anak?

W: LIMA na!

A SAD STORY:

——————————————————————————–

a little boy was so jealous of his new born brother…

he put poison on the nipple of his mother, the next day..
their driver died.

MAG-AMO!

——————————————————————————–

DONYA: bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!

MAID: walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag almusal!

YOU’VE GOT MAIL

——————————————————————————–

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: “You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box.”

The blonde answered, “No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail.”

MR. AND MRS.

——————————————————————————–

MR: DARLING, pag ulo lang daw ipapasok magiging PRESIDENTE daw anak natin.

MRS: putaragis, di bale ng BARANGAY TANOD basta ilubog pati itlog!

I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

——————————————————————————–

Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?

Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
WHERE IS THIS BUS GOING?

——————————————————————————–

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!”

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Man, I’m on the wrong bus!”
NEW HEARING AID

——————————————————————————–

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

PASSING AN EXAM

——————————————————————————–

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
teenage girl?!Ü

TEENAGE KID

——————————————————————————–

Anak: Dad, i’m fifteen na… pwede na ba akong mag-bra?

Dad: Di pwede!

Anak: But dad, all my frends wear bra na.

Dad: Tumigil ka “BADONG” baka sipain kita!!!

PANCAKES!!!

——————————————————————————–

Dinala ng mag-asawang zeny at gerry ang kanilang anim na taong anak na lalaki sa duktor dahil concerned sila kung bakit maiit ang “titi” nito.

Matapos ma-examine ng duktor ang bata ay sinabi niya sa mag-asawa na madali lang malunasan ang pagiging maliit ang “titi” ng kanilang anak. “PAKANIN LANG DAW NG MARAMING PANCAKES”!!!

Kinaumagahan, sa harap almusalan, isang tambak na pancakes ang nakahain.
Gee, mom, sabi ng anak, “Akin ba lahat ito?”

Sagot ng mommy niya: “KUMUHA KA LANG NG DALAWA AT LAHAT NG MATITIRA AY PARA SA DADDY MO”!!!!!!

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