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Christmas Onions

Posted by raredog in Pinoy Jokes etc.., ... | 11.29.2007 - 11:07 am

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, you see them… and they make you cry.!?!!”

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, “Mom, how many types of “willies” are there?” The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties & forties, it’s like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a
Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree??”

“Yes dear, dead from the root up… and the balls are for decoration only.”


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balls breast christmas family onions willies

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Gardening Woes

Posted by raredog in Pinoy Jokes etc.., A... | 11.27.2007 - 12:36 pm

My mom loves gardening. She had accumulated lots of ornamental plants from her friends who were also plant lovers. She has all kinds, from bonsai, flowers, shrubs and even cactus. And all shapes and sizes of pots.

Her plants are nice and beautiful. But there’s just one problem. It was a total disarray. No arrangment at all. Big pots side-by-side with small pots. Cactus in the middle of those red roses, and the weeds are definitely growing wild.

I understand that she spend less time nowadays in her garden due to her old age. I guess if Im not that busy I could help her in gardening. Or maybe some professional help from Tru Green. I’ve heard they’re offering great services in landscaping, weed removal, shrub care and much more.

gardening plants weed removal landscaping

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Carpet Makeover

Posted by raredog in Pinoy Jokes etc.., A... | 11.26.2007 - 8:32 pm

My friend Lui from San Jose California told me that last week kiddie birthday party of her seven year old kid was a bang! She got her classmates, cousins, and friends from the village as her guest. They’re all cute and hyperactive!

The kids are all over the place, playing, shouting and munching everything they can see on the buffet (choco fountains, cakes and ice cream).

Lui didn’t see the aftermath until she woke-up the next day. Her carpet was ruined! Lots of ice cream dropping and everything, even to their own room.

I told her to relax and have it clean professionally by American Home Shield. Just give them a ring and I’m sure they can help you in just about everything you need in keeping your home looking good.

carpet home service

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