websaytko.com – raredog’s chronicle

If ever our office outing coincides with the fight of Manny Pacquiao and Joshua Clottey this coming March 14, 2010, I just hope my officemate bring along his 18.4 widescreen Acer Aspire laptop  for us to watch it via online. And of course to have a decent 3G/HSDPA from where whereat.

I was really eyeing for the Pacquiao – Mayweather fight coz they’re both the best of the best. Nevertheless, I’m sure Manny is still conditioned for a victory whoever would be his opponent’s inside the ring. Go Go Go Manny! Kulutin mo si Clottey!!! haha!

From Miguel Cotto – Manny’s last opponent and won by TKO.
“Clottey is physically stronger and bigger but Pacquiao hits harder,”

Tale of the Tape

Real name     Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao
Nickname(s)     Pacman
Rated at     Light Welterweight, Welterweight
Height     5 ft 6.5in (169 cm)
Nationality     Filipino
Birth date     December 17, 1978 (1978-12-17) (age 31)
Birth place     Kibawe, Bukidnon, Philippines
Stance             Southpaw
Boxing record
Total fights     55
Wins                  50
Wins by KO     38
Losses              3
Draws               2

Real name     Joshua Clottey
Nickname(s)     The Hitter
Rated at     Welterweight
Height     5 ft 8 in (172 cm)
Nationality     Ghana Ghanaian
Birth date     March 16, 1976 (1976-03-16) (age 33)
Birth place     Accra, Ghana
Stance             Orthodox
Boxing record
Total fights     39
Wins                  35
Wins by KO     20
Losses               3
Draws                0

A busy person like me needs some quick exercise to burn those fats. Especially now that I’m gaining weight and my blood pressure is getting high during this hot weather.

That’s why I’m thinking of getting myself an e-machine. Nope, not the brand of pc but the real elliptical machines that looks like a bicycle but with only one wheel hehe.

I think I can spare some time before and after work on these machine. That way, I can loose some of those bad cholesterol without going to a gym. And just maybe, I can customize the design by having a laptop holder in front of me. Excercising while working at the same time hehe!

Doc: Iha, mukhang pumapayat ka at hinang hina pa. Sinunod mo ba advice ko na 3 meals a day?

Girl: Diyos ko! 3 meals a day ba? Akala ko 3 males a day eh!!!

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May nagpapa-translate sa akin ng signage sa tagalog: “Emergency Exit”

ang sabi ko, “MADALING LABASAN…? Tama ba? Parang bastos ata.

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Lalake: Pag tayo na, magkasama na nating haharapin ang mga problema.

Babae: Pero wala naman akong problema..

Lalake: Kasi nga, hindi pa tayo. Wag ka excited!!

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Sa Sauna:

Sa Hospital…

Attendant: Sir, gusto mo ng tirafi?

Guest: Anong tirafi? Baka therapy?

Attendant: Tirafi po talaga sir. After you tira me, you give me fee. uki?

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Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!

Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.

Mr.. (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.

Mrs: Ako, meron!

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Tip for a long life:

Wag mo isusulat name mo sa condolence book pag dumalaw ka sa patay. Kasi pagkatapos ng libing nagkakaron ng raffle kung sinong susunod….. .

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Guro: Pedro late kana naman..

Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko.

Guro: Problema ba yun. E di i-advance mo.

Pedro: Sige po.

Guro: Oh, saan ka pupunta?

Boy: uwian na po!

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Mrs: Kung alam ko lang di sana ako nagpakasal sa iyo! ABS ka!

Mr: Anong ABS?

Mrs: Alak, Babae, Sugal!!

Mr: Eh ikaw CBN!

Mrs: CBN?

Mr: Chismosa, Bungangera, Nagger!.

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May dalawang lalaki sabay nag jogging:

Guy 1: Pre, doctor ako.. Kaya ako tumatakbo kasi HEALTH conscious ako! Ikaw pre?

Guy 2: Snatcher pre! WEALTH conscious ako.

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Bakit binaril ng bobo ang girlfriend nya?

Kasi sinubukan nya kung totoong FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES!

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Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin nyo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya!

Drayber: E, kaya ko nga binibilisan para di tayo abutan!

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(sa isang turo-turo):

Customer: Manang, meh langaw sa arrozcaldo ko!

Tindera: Hello! Sa halagang P5.00 anong ini-expect mo….manok?

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Tom: Alam mo pare, my new wife is a sex object!

Jerry: Wow! Maganda pala ang napangasawa mo pre!

Tom: Hindi naman. But everytime I want to have sex, she objects!

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PO 1: Bakit po K-9 ang tawag sa malalaking aso, sir!

SUPT: Syempre pag tinawag mo silang K10,
hindi na sila aso

PO 1: Ano na sila sir?

SUPT: maliit na pusa…

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Anak: Nay, yung girlfriend ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impierno.

Nanay: Sige, pakasalan mo anak, ipatikim mo sa kanya ang langit, ako na ang bahala sa impierno.

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A husband asked his wife, “What do you like most in me, my macho face or my sexy body?

The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor”.

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Russian: Sir, we got huge order from USA for 16 inches condoms. I think it is to embarrass us.

Putin: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE!

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A guy picks up a girl for a date.

“Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?

Girl: I promised mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt..

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